We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
