i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
