What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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