3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
