dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
it's not cheating when I paid for it
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
