I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
