So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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