Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
