Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
