we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
