I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
