whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
