Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
