Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize