sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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