Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
