Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
