I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
