I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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