I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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