Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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