id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
