Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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