I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
