Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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