I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
