I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
