found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
