In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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