I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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