He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
