Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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