I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
