Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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