So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
