I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
