What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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