The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
