Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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