My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Come back. Shots need mouths.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize