she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
