I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
