I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
