i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize