Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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