Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize