Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Congratulations! We have a period
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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