She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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