from now on my penis is your penis
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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