just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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