You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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