I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
