My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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