when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
