The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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