Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Dignity is for republicans.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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