grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
