Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
